Posted by on Jan 28, 2016 in Blog, Book, Book Review, Comfort, Grieving, Loss

Nobody really wants to experience loss, pain, heartache, disappointment, grief or mourning. The truth, however, emerges that they are all a part of human existence. These things will happen to all of us at some point. Beginning with the loss of the safe, warm environment of the womb until the news that one will soon lose their physical life, our journey contains various levels and degrees of loss.
Adjusting to loss seems to be a core issue in life. Whether it is the childish horror of a toddler losing their blanket or a child relinquishing their position as baby of the family to a new addition, loss requires confrontation. Every one of us will experience the emotional hurt from grief caused by the loss or death of someone or something they are close to. How do you cope?
My experiences with loss may seem like an unusual amount to some people. However, I’m reminded of the story about the man who was the sole survivor of the Johnstown Flood. During his life he bragged a lot about that distinction. Upon arriving in heaven he began his boasting until someone said, “So, there is someone here you need to meet. His name is Noah.” Yes, there will always be someone who has gone through more. So, I don’t waste time with pity parties.
As you will read, my first devastating encounter with grief came through the death of my wife. I was in my late 30s, administrator and teacher at a college and parenting four young children. I didn’t know a human could hurt that much. It was all so new to me and I had no idea that some of my viewpoints about deep mourning were so off base. The “hole in my soul” haunted me.
My experience of going through grief did more than temporarily affect my life. I became a student of what was going on in (not easy for this man) and around me. I observed how those around me reacted to the same event and how they responded to me. Few seemed to have any better grasp of grief than I had. The knowledge I gained from my research soon began to drive me to reach out and help others experiencing loss in ways no one did for me.
One of the dominant methods of dealing with grief and loss of others is avoidance. Our default ways of coping with grief tend to be to change the subject, stuff it down, explain it away, prevent grief’s symptoms or try to get over it or away quickly. Since grief feels so uncomfortable, sidestepping is our first reaction.
My studies of the grieving process showed me that grief was not only normal, but required. This also applies to those who make up a support circle around the griever. Grief is as natural as bleeding when you cut your arm and time and attention is needed to heal. Ignoring the cut can lead to infection, just like thwarted grief can cause issues in one’s life, whether evident immediately or later. Some cuts require the aid of others to properly deal with and often, grief is best processed with the help of friends or relatives.
I wanted to be that better friend to people in my life who go through the grieving process.
Then came the death of my second wife twenty-two years later. The lessons I had gathered from my first wife’s death were unavoidably refreshed. My notes and observations took on a deeper, more refined form.
More than one friend admitted to me, “I didn’t know what to say.” When we’d talk and I explained to them what it was like in the grieving process and how I could have been helped, their responses were so positive. I sensed a deep compulsion inside me, “Don’t hoard your lessons.” Requests for written versions of my story and lessons mounted. I began to see that most people, whether friends or family or in professional capacities, really did want to connect with a person in grief, but fear, ignorance or verbal clumsiness held them back. And just like First-Aid 101, there were things that could be learned.
My professional background includes that of being a teacher. You will find that showing through in the following pages as I share practical suggestions for dealing with varying kinds of loss. For the hurried reader, there are even lists that should be helpful. All this springs from the lessons learned through my experiences. It is true that those who are in the throes of grieving will find help in the revealing portrayal of my own personal grieving experiences. However, my dominant objective for writing my story is to help the rest of us be a better friend to those who are grieving.
Loss of Spouse

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“I Didn’t Know What to Say” available in Print and Kindle Sept. 25th

Posted by on Sep 22, 2015 in Blog, Book, Grief Relief


David Knapp ~ Grief Relief Ministries Best Selling Author and Speaker

My Internationally Best Selling Book will be available on Amazon on Sept. 25th!  We are pleased and excited that this work of heart has been impacting lives already.

I am available for speaking engagements both in person and through radio, podcasts, TV and guest blogs.

This book is an excellent resource for those whose professions depend on them provide comfort and solace to those who have lost loved ones…and should be required course material for people who are studying to go into one of these fields.


Click here to get a peak inside!



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Only 2 more days! “I Didn’t Know What to Say” will be available on Amazon!

Posted by on Jul 13, 2015 in Blog, Book

Save the Date!  Please support us for pre launch of our book!  

Reserve your Copy on July 15th for 99 cents!

Click Here 

Please note:  This is a Kindle copy the full version will be available on Sept. 25, 2015

You do not need a kindle device.  Amazon provides FREE Kindle readers that can be used on whatever device you want to read the book on.

Kindle cap

Our book will pre launch on July 15th from

Our book will pre launch on July 15th from

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Our book will be available on July 15th

Posted by on Jul 3, 2015 in Blog, Book, Grieving

Our book will pre launch on July 15th from

Our book will pre launch on July 15th from

Update to the post below: Our book, “I Didn’t Know What to Say” will be available in a pre launch stage from on July 15th. We are offering it for .99 cents! Click here or on the image below to get your copy.

We’ve been getting some great reviews from those who are getting a chance to read it before it is released.

David Knapp hits a nerve with his book, “I didn’t know what to say.” Whether you’ve been there or not, the loss of a loved one is never easy, whether it is a lengthy process or a shocking event (I’ve had the dubious perception that if death was anticipated, then the loss was not nearly as devastating). David takes a candid and vulnerable walk through all the dynamics of grief and loss. He speaks from an uneasy vantage point, when it comes to the death of loved ones. His personal journey is one that we all can learn from. Sadly, grief can be experienced with the loss of pets, job loss, and divorce as well. In each situation, we need to know what to say, as well as what not to say. David’s book will give all of us fresh insight in dealing with our own mortality and the mortality of others.

STEVE Vandegriff, Ed.D. ’12
Professor, Christian Leadership and Church Ministries; LIBERTY UNIVERSITY, Lynchburg, Va

Currently in the writing stages, our book, “I Didn’t Know What to Say” is in the writing stages.

This book is a compilation of life experiences David has faced to get where he is today. He skillfully communicates to us the words to use to truly give comfort to those suffering from grief.

We are so excited with its progress and hope you will opt in to our email campaign where we will keep you informed of the launch date. We will also supply you excerpts from the book chapter.

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