“The Closer, The Less”
Roz called me from Florida the other day. She was hesitant to ask but said, “Can I ask you a question about how to help a new friend of mine?” I said, “Of course.” She explained that a new lady had just started coming to a Bible study she attended who had recently lost her husband. Roz said she wanted to help her and not be a hindrance to her by what she said. Neither of us had a long time to talk so Roz asked me for a “really reduced down version” of what she needed to say or not say. I replied, “The general rule is; The closer, the less.”
What I meant by the “rule” boils down to how much you try to say to the grieving often depends on how close to the loss you are talking to them. If they lost their loved one that day, you say very little. Maybe one sentence like; “It must really hurt.” Do not try to solve their mourning issue with a long line of logic on how to look ahead, etc. However, if you are talking to them say three months later, you might find they want to rehearse how their loved one died, in vivid detail. That would help them the most.
We at Grief Relief Ministries appreciate your caring heart in seeking to learn more how to help those who grieve to be restored to a winning place in life.