Looking to a Higher Power
Sometimes the best way a person is helped when going through a loss is to look to a higher Power. This means that NOTHING you or I say can help the same way.
Harold S. Kushner, upon revising messages from the 23rd Psalm in his book, The Lord is My Shepherd expresses it in practical terms. ‘When something bad happened to me, I turned to my friends for support, for the reassurance that I did not deserve this fate? Some were wonderful, caring, supportive friends. But some people on whom I counted turned out to be false friends. They were not, or maybe could not be, there for me. They could not nourish me emotionally as I needed to be…I needed them to bring light into my darkness, to banish the gloom that enveloped me, but they did not know how to do that. Some were so intimidated by what had happened to me that they couldn’t look at me without worrying that something similar might happen to them. Some stayed away because they felt inadequate. They didn’t know what to say. It bothered them to see me suffer…They all had their reasons for what they did, but I felt alone and rejected in the valley of the shadow. The only thing that kept me going, the only thing…was my faith in God, my faith that when I cried out, God heard me…When I felt alone and abandoned, I prayed and I had this astonishing feeling that I was no longer alone…The Psalmist concluded, ‘God, thank You for being there…Thank You for nourishing me with Your presence when so many others could not help me.”
It is possible that our feeble attempts to help those who have lost something or someone dear to them can never really reach the deepest part of their need.