Undealt with grief that is “stuffed” and not released will come back later
“I don’t know what’s going on inside me, though” she finally admitted. “It’s like I am painfully remembering Judith and my mother.” “Oh, I see what is going now,” I responded. “I noticed that when you visited my wife before she died that you ‘kept a stiff upper lip’ and no tears. Now that this other emotionally charged event has happened, it is bringing up that unresolved grief to be processed. That is good.” “That explains it perfectly. Now I know I am not crazy,” came her relieved comment.
The individual I spoke with was very close to my wife and viewed her like a mother. Now, one year later, she has experienced a very emotional event in her marriage (that turned out positive). The reason she called me was that she did not see how the emotion of the present situation was connected to the feelings of loss she still had for Judith.
Her story is a great example that undealt with grief that is “stuffed” and not released will come back later. It does not go away. The next time a deeply emotional event happens in one’s life, it can come back for processing. So, it is very important that we all be alert to our grief and process it fully.