Dealing with the Reality of Grief
The pain of grieving a loss never really goes away. It simply becomes a part of you.
I experienced this truth yesterday at the memorial service of a friend who died in his 30s. Of course, I was saddened for the families’ loss at the outset of the service but wasn’t totally prepared for how the events of that time would affect me. Twice during that celebration my tears flowed freely. It was the times Luke, his 10-11 year old son, cried openly. As I watched and heard him miss his dad I felt his pain from deep inside.
I reflected as to why this response came from me. Two possibilities came to mind. First, one of my sons was 10-11 years old when I told him his mom had died and held him on my lap for a time of sobbing. However, my second option is what really took place. I was that 10-11 year old boy 53 years ago. My dad had died suddenly in his 30’s and it was ME that truly had experienced what Luke showed yesterday. Watching him brought back that part of me that had hurt similarly so long ago. It was a part of me…down deep. And it was OK.
So, it behooves us to realize the reality of grief, deal with it properly and help those we know to do the same.